How do I/we get better?
Many times people who choose to seek and attend counseling or therapy have questions initially about what will be useful to them. What will help the most? How do we actually benefit from what we are doing? What does it mean if I go to therapy and it doesn't work? What is the client's role in success or failure in therapy? These are all great questions and maybe you have been asking some of them yourself. Therapy works on many different levels but some of the most common benefits of therapy are these:
1. Keeping your scheduled session. Cancellation is necessary on a rare occasion. If a family member is sick or therapist is sick, if you are out of town, if you lose a loved one and need to attend a funeral, etc. that is understandable and a client may need time to get their bearings back before proceeding with therapy. However, when therapeutic scheduling is broken it has a tendency to disjoint both the relationship and the progress. We want to serve you with the most efficiency and get you the benefits of counseling quickly. Cancelling a scheduled session does inhibit this. Also, as therapists we are very busy, constantly trying to keep up with the lives of many clients and continually educating ourselves as we attempt to serve you better. We need to know about your breakthroughs from week to week and your setbacks. Cancelling a session removes your therapist from the loop, pushes your unique, complex situation to a back-burner and brings changes to your life outside the therapy room that we do not know about. When we come back together we have more ground to catch up on than one session can address adequately. Please only cancel in emergencies and gives at least 24 hours notice any time possible.
2. Complete your homework. Our therapists will likely offer you a homework assignment, maybe even in every session. This may seem daunting at times and may be a weekly occurrence. No doubt it can be difficult to fit into your weekly schedule. Therapy could be compared to school or a job. If you were to go to your job and not do the work, there is no paycheck and you may be encouraged to find other means of employment. If you went to school and did no homework, your grades would likely reflect your lack of attention to practice. Homework in therapy takes the lesson outside the room into your life. Homework gives practice to the things you are making strides toward in session. Homework also has a reshaping effect. For instance, once you practice communicating more productively from your therapy in the confines of your living room on your couch, you cannot see the place where you changed the same way as you did prior to your new process. Its not the same old couch where everything goes sour. Now its the place of new beginnings and a catalyst for your change as well as a physical foundation for new patterns of interaction. Homework is paramount to success.
3. Honesty is the best policy. Open and honest communication within the therapeutic relationship is also key to your success. There is no doubt that this is difficult. When one keeps a secret, that person has instituted a power position for themselves over the people outside the loop. When someone is relying on power to manipulate the relationship, little progress will follow. The imbalance creates a halting effect and brings about a breach of trust that will impede your success and prove to be a potentially major setback for your time in therapy. If you feel you have things that cannot be brought up in front of your spouse or your children or whomever else would be in the room with you, ask for a few private moments or a session to yourself so that you can prepare yourself to allow others into your world more deeply and fully.
4. Come ready to engage. Our world is very fast paced and everyone is expecting you to be multi-tasking at all times. Therapy sessions are your time. Our sole focus for that period of time is on what we can do to assist you in meeting the goals you want to meet. Obviously there will be the emergency from time to time where someone is waiting on life changing news like the birth of a child or test results. However, in every other circumstance scale back your responsibilities for that hour or so, your life deserves it. We turn our cell phones off. Eliminate outside distractions. On your drive to the session turn the radio off and mentally go through the points you want to talk about and prepare yourself to engage in relationship openly, focused, present.
There are a million things that can create success in therapy. Just about across the board these 4 things will enhance your opportunity to draw maximum benefit from your time in session with your therapist.
1. Keeping your scheduled session. Cancellation is necessary on a rare occasion. If a family member is sick or therapist is sick, if you are out of town, if you lose a loved one and need to attend a funeral, etc. that is understandable and a client may need time to get their bearings back before proceeding with therapy. However, when therapeutic scheduling is broken it has a tendency to disjoint both the relationship and the progress. We want to serve you with the most efficiency and get you the benefits of counseling quickly. Cancelling a scheduled session does inhibit this. Also, as therapists we are very busy, constantly trying to keep up with the lives of many clients and continually educating ourselves as we attempt to serve you better. We need to know about your breakthroughs from week to week and your setbacks. Cancelling a session removes your therapist from the loop, pushes your unique, complex situation to a back-burner and brings changes to your life outside the therapy room that we do not know about. When we come back together we have more ground to catch up on than one session can address adequately. Please only cancel in emergencies and gives at least 24 hours notice any time possible.
2. Complete your homework. Our therapists will likely offer you a homework assignment, maybe even in every session. This may seem daunting at times and may be a weekly occurrence. No doubt it can be difficult to fit into your weekly schedule. Therapy could be compared to school or a job. If you were to go to your job and not do the work, there is no paycheck and you may be encouraged to find other means of employment. If you went to school and did no homework, your grades would likely reflect your lack of attention to practice. Homework in therapy takes the lesson outside the room into your life. Homework gives practice to the things you are making strides toward in session. Homework also has a reshaping effect. For instance, once you practice communicating more productively from your therapy in the confines of your living room on your couch, you cannot see the place where you changed the same way as you did prior to your new process. Its not the same old couch where everything goes sour. Now its the place of new beginnings and a catalyst for your change as well as a physical foundation for new patterns of interaction. Homework is paramount to success.
3. Honesty is the best policy. Open and honest communication within the therapeutic relationship is also key to your success. There is no doubt that this is difficult. When one keeps a secret, that person has instituted a power position for themselves over the people outside the loop. When someone is relying on power to manipulate the relationship, little progress will follow. The imbalance creates a halting effect and brings about a breach of trust that will impede your success and prove to be a potentially major setback for your time in therapy. If you feel you have things that cannot be brought up in front of your spouse or your children or whomever else would be in the room with you, ask for a few private moments or a session to yourself so that you can prepare yourself to allow others into your world more deeply and fully.
4. Come ready to engage. Our world is very fast paced and everyone is expecting you to be multi-tasking at all times. Therapy sessions are your time. Our sole focus for that period of time is on what we can do to assist you in meeting the goals you want to meet. Obviously there will be the emergency from time to time where someone is waiting on life changing news like the birth of a child or test results. However, in every other circumstance scale back your responsibilities for that hour or so, your life deserves it. We turn our cell phones off. Eliminate outside distractions. On your drive to the session turn the radio off and mentally go through the points you want to talk about and prepare yourself to engage in relationship openly, focused, present.
There are a million things that can create success in therapy. Just about across the board these 4 things will enhance your opportunity to draw maximum benefit from your time in session with your therapist.
